Gilzene Law Legal Humor
Because sometimes the law (and legal practice) is serious… and sometimes it’s seriously funny.
Disclaimer: This page is intended for humor and lighthearted content only. None of the content here constitutes legal advice or reflects actual case results. For real legal advice (that's way more serious!) please contact Gilzene Law PLLC.
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Chuck-isms with a Legal Twist
If Chuck Norris were a lawyer...
Discovery would end when he walks in, he already knows.
He would win jury trials with only one word: “Objection."
When he filed a motion, the judge would ask how high.
Contracts would enforce themselves out of fear.
The Supreme Court would appeal to him.
Regulators would self-report… to him.
Closing arguments would just be him closing his briefcase. Case closed.
The judge would ask him for permission to speak.
Even the statute of limitations would beg for more time.
The SEC would file with him… for permission.